Homeland – the party of ‘sensible nationalism’ led by a bloke with a swastika tattoo on his chest – assembled for their annual conference at the weekend. And it descended into a shambles, with party security brawling with hotel management, and unhappy members slinking out the back door and wandering the streets looking for somewhere to eat because nowhere had been booked.

They had hoped to keep the venue secret but Searchlight was able to reveal, a few hours before they opened the doors, that the meeting was being held at the Village Hotel in Walsall.

As a result there was an early counter-demonstration by local Anti-Fascist Network activists, and Stand Up To Racism issued an emergency callout which led to more joining the protest outside the hotel later in the day.

Hotel management were, apparently, deluged with phone calls and emails asking what they thought they were doing hiring out the place to a bunch of fascists but the event went ahead anyway.

A modest turnout of about 40-50 party members graced the meeting but, unlike previous occasions, there was not a single foreign guest speaker to be seen.

This was rather odd given the effort party leader Kenny Smith – the man who sports a swastika tattoo on his chest – has put into downing vast quantities of beer with various European kamaraden. And particularly odd given the importance that Party Treasurer Daniel Boyle placed in his speech on welcoming foreign guests.

Instead, the faithful were treated only to a parade of rather tedious party functionaries and local activists like their Media Officer Alec Cave and west country organiser Mike Lynton.

They did hear from Gayle, however, that the party had made a profit of about £25k last year and that from January they would be in a position to hire their first full-time employee.

So, Kenny Smith will have employment at last, though whether it’s of the gainful variety is a matter of opinion.

They weren’t told how much this singularly low rent event had set the party back, but we can tell them. It was the princely sum of £4,690.

There was also a puzzling claim that the party had now reached 1400 members. Well, given the attendance and the fact that its WhatsApp community is less than 500, this seems curious.

Admittedly not all members will be on WhatsApp but it would be strange indeed if only a third of them were.

Turned ugly

Things turned ugly after the second session, when attendees tried to return to their meeting room, only to find their way barred by a member of the hotel management.

She told them that the booking was terminated and they should leave. But that was never going to happen peacefully.

Members of Homeland’s imported security team fought with her, manhandling her out of the way and forcing their way back into the venue.

From that point on proceedings became tense and there was a feeling that Kenny Smith just wanted to get the whole thing over with and vacate the building before the police were called to throw them out.

Ignominious ending

It all ended ignominiously when attendees were told to slink out by the hotel back door to avoid the counter-demonstrators at the front.

They took shelter in a nearby Holiday Inn before adjourning to what was supposed to be a convivial, comradely dinner and drinks at the local Beefeater in Bentley Green.

And then it really went south. When they turned up, it became apparent that no-one had actually made a booking, and the Beefeater made it clear they were full and couldn’t cater for a party of 30 turning up without a reservation.

Cue panic

Cue panic, and Kenny Smith on his mobile frantically trying to find a local eatery which could accommodate them. First he tried the Holiday Inn where they had just taken refuge but they had more sense than to let them back in.

Eventually, after much phoning round, they pitched up at the Hungry Horse for a pub meal before all going home, more than a little dejected, and amid much moaning about Kenny Smith’s multiple screw ups.

Sensible nationalism. Hah!